Oh yeah? Well you can go Elf Yourself too bub!!

Ohmygod! What fun!..........damn.........now I REALLY gotta study! Talk soon!

Click *here*


Thanks Reesie :-*

You don't see this every day...

Pretty cool eh?

Enjoy!

Krista...what language is this in?

It's officially The Christmas Season!!!

No, not because:

• We watched Santa ride his sleigh down the street in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade
• We've gorged ourselves on turkey and all the trimmings
• We fought with our dysfunctional borderline personality cousin to break the turkey wishbone(which ended in a wrestling match on the dining room floor)
  
• We watched Uncle George fall face first drunk as a skunk into the punch bowl promptly after the dessert dishes were cleared from the table
  
• We survived to tell the tale of Black Friday and the exploits that ensued that day and the great deals we think we got
• It's getting cold and blustry and the ice scraper can't be found to scrape the windshield
  
• You've dragged the Christmas tree box up all the stairs from the basement only to find all the branches are bent at obtuse angles from one another, half the ornaments are broken and only a third of all the tree lights work
  
• People are starting to put the lights up on their homes and the giant lawn ornaments are being inflated to Goodyear blimp proportions (in other words, let the games begin!)
  
• The local radio station has gone 24/7 with all Christmas music all the time
• We've had our fill of pumpkin pie and are scouring about with a crazed glazed look hoping to find more
• McDonald's has started selling their Egg Nog milkshakes

I know it's the Christmas season because:

I heard this song! Tell me, what is it in your little world that let's you know that the Christmas season is in full swing?

Enjoy!

Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving

01. Talk about a huge breast!

02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

03. It's Cool Whip time!

04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

05. That's one terrific spread!

06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

07. Are you ready for seconds yet?

08. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!




Hope your Turkey day is everything you want it to be. Bless to you and yours.

When you were a teen, what did you do when you were bored?

I can only hope and pray it wasn't what these teens did...but then again......it could explain some adult behavior.

Listen to your mother...

What she said when you were younger is true....be sure to wear clean (& cute) underwear because you never know who will be seeing it when you least expect it.

I'll elaborate...

Last night at work, one of my patients had somehow managed to get her oxygen tubing wrapped around her body. Knowing luck as it is in my neighborhood, I could just see her slipping out of her wheelchair and end up strangling herself on the tubing. She's very confused and it's not outside the realm of possibility.

So as I'm bent over her trying to get her sorted, she (I can only assume) thought I meant to do her harm. I know this because she reached up and swatted at me, scratched me (ripping my necklace from my neck) leaving nice claw marks behind......*note to self: clip her nails* and finally grabbing my shirt and pulling for all she was worth.

With it being Friday, it was casual day, meaning no scrubs (whOOt!), so I wore a v neck t-shirt and jeans. Thank God I had a cute bra (thank you Nicky!) on because not only the residents' in the vacinity got an eye full, but my staff did as well. It took me and 2 nursing assistants to get me untangled, but after a 5 minute struggle, I got free.

After getting pulled back together, cleaned up the blood (yeah she's got some sharp nails) and stretching my shirt back into place.....well as much as can be expected, I was just so happy for one thing.

At least I had a cute bra on!

Me and the generous donator of the cute bra's!

Story of my life...

Memo to/for all pets

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

• They live here. You don't.
  
• If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
  
• I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
• To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called (even the cat)
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.

And finally,

If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.